Saturday’s episode was led by Zelda calling Keith a grumpy old twat and The Vacuum arguing with Calum shouting, “I’ll shove my huge dick up your ass” of which he’s received his third warning for inappropriate behaviour. If a man had said that to a woman, the door wouldn’t be able to hit his arse out the house quick enough. I know his endless madness makes for dramatic viewing but why is he still there? Repulsive little bollock.
For this weeks shopping task, the house-mates had to perform in a freak show hosted by Keith. The Three Little Pigs (The Vacuum, Calum and Cami Knockers) had to eat some vile morsels, two headed Katie Monster answered questions based on the house-mates, Kavana the ventriloquist dummy sang nasty tweets about himself and Ms Visage became Mystic Michelle, reading the house-mates with her massive ball.
She told Kavana to keep off the vodka, Keith to be more honest and said Katie P wants everyone to like her. The Vacuum asked her to predict if the house could go 48 hours without fighting.
Basically, no.
Music and booze was pumped into the house for passing the ridiculously easy task and Michelle told a story about having boy-fun in the same room as a friend who let out a fanny fart (remember fanny means something different over here).
Thankfully it’s all over on Friday and a winner will be crowned. Honey, my nerves have never been so frazzled.
x
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